This side of the swamp

So here I am, once again walking in another adventure...woo hoo! =) this time, the adventure is school.  My home for the next year will be a small rural town surrounded by farmland and swamp. (Not too far from where i spent 6 years of my childhood, actually.  Who knew that 14 years later, I'd be back?) Certainly been a while since I've been in the books this much too!  Since being in town, I've spent most of my free time either reading or writing. (Kudos to all my fellow students out there!) Really though, I'm  enjoying what I've been learning so far, and the numerous ways I've been   challenged.  I'm looking forward to all that this year holds.    One thing God has spoken to me this week is to not let fear silence me...whether that means sharing the good news with my neighbor or praying for someone at the store...or even crying out in desperation to know God more...that I would not settle for victories and feasts of the past, but press on to the things God has promised are our inheritance. Even prayer. It is such a key part of our life in God, to see the supernatural made manifest. (think of Daniel's prayers, especially where he prayed for 21 days before having an answer; or how the early church prayed for Peter to be released from prison, and he walked right out of the maximum security prison and showed up at the church's prayer meeting....what if they hasn't prayed? Would he have been spared the almost certain death? Remember, James had just been killed.     Or even Jesus...many times, you see that He was "up on the mountain praying" or "he went off by himself to pray") Yet i wonder how often we allow fear to silence us because we "don't know how to pray", or even doubt the things we have prayed. Jesus said that He was giving us the Counselor (John 15:26) and that He, the Spirit of Truth would guide us into all truth and tell us what He has heard and received from Jesus (John 16:13-15)  He said that when you are on trial for your faith, He will give you the words to speak at that time, for it won't be you speaking but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. (Matthew 10:19-20) Oh how much God will lead us in what to pray and how to pray...and who better than Holy Spirit to lead us through? He is, after all our Teacher and Guide.    So I encourage you to allow Him to teach you, lead you in His ways, and guide you into all truth.  And even to follow Him as He leads you in sharing His love and good news with your friends, neighbors, and co-workers. He will give you the words....He will lead you.  May you be filled with joy, my friends, as you embark on your own adventures with Him!!   

Time to Fly

Well...it's final. I'm going to Mozambique.(I'm leaving this weekend...and will be there till the end of summer.) About a month ago, the remainder of the finances came in, and I was able to purchase my flights. Though there were times of doubt, though there were times that it appeared I'd heard God wrong, or that He wasn't going to provide....and likewise, there were numerous times of surrendering it to God...laying it all down. But oh! it was sure worth it. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is where God's leading...and He has supplied my every need.

Life is a journey, and when you're following Love...your every step leaves healed hearts and rainbows of hope in a land where there once was only brokenness and parched ground.

By Faith

As I sit here, overwhelmed by God's presence, I wanna share with you my heart. There's been alot of things God's been doing in me the last few months. To put it simply, He's been revealing and dealing with alot of deep-rooted fears I've had. And often, as you're going through that process...it's hard to articulate what exactly, you're feeling and how you're dealing with it. Seeing imperfections in ourselves is a very hard thing...and quite frankly, we'd rather not see it.
But this is exactly what God has continued to do in me. And though it is painful, I've been asking Him to help me to embrace these weaknesses (as Paul did), knowing that they are pushing me closer to God, and causing me to rely on Him more than myself. This is the place I want to be, leaning into God...knowing that the only way I'm going to remain on this path He's leading me on is IN Him. There ain't NO way I can do this in my own strength. (Funny how often we start to try though, isn't it? And that's when, in His grace, He shows us our error...and calls us to come deeper in Him.)
This time of preparing to go to Africa again has been fun, and yet stretching too. God is wooing me closer to Him, and calling me to live a life of complete trust in Him. Do you know how much the flesh wants to resist that? Ooooh...my flesh has wanted to take control SO many times, and MAKE things turn out how I want. But that isn't the way that'll lead me to deeper intimacy with God.
As I'm writing, I don't yet have all the money for tickets to Africa. I quite like to have "all my ducks in a row" and preparations made WELL in advance, with a good "buffer zone" so I don't even have to think about such things. But this is the part where God's saying, "Trust ME." "I'm your Provider...and I will NEVER fail you. Not only will I get you to Africa, but I will get you there with MORE than enough, so you can pour out that abundance on others." But oh...how this trusting goes against the grain of human tendencies! And though I know I've been in this place before, it's different somehow. I suppose every time God asks us to take a step (or leap, as may be the case) of faith, it is exactly that...by FAITH. Not by sight.
I know that HE will provide. I know I am going to Africa, He's promised me that. But right now, He's taking my dirt (insecurities and fears) and in their place, giving me jewels worth more than gold or silver..worth more than any earthly treasure could replace. Though He could simply make things happen in a blink of an eye, I'm glad that He's choosing this "refining/stretching" route...'cause it's pulling me SO much closer to Him. And I feel that I'm beginning to smell His fragrance.

Next Adventure: Mozambique...a journey of Love

To partner with God in serving others truly is the joy of life. To go where He leads, without hesitation or reservation...may seem scary at times, but if He's promised His presence every step of the way, there ain't nothin' holdin' me back from walkin' in it today.



I've got some exciting news...I'll be traveling again! =) As you know, a year and a half ago, I went to a Missions School in Mozambique, where I was healed and transformed in the presence of God. The last year and a half of being back in North America has been an interesting one....of learning to live in the path God's leading me on. But yet a joyful journey of serving here, and enjoying the people God has placed around me. He brought me through a season of rest, into a season of pouring out, and now is calling me overseas again. To finally be able to write you and say "I'm going overseas!!" brings joy to my heart. Though, it was quite a process. Multiple times, God had me lay down my desire to travel, and it appeared as though I wouldn't be going. But now, He's made it clear that the next step is going back to Mozambique. I feel that He is leading me there because this is part of the preparation for what He's asking me to walk in.

So, it is final! This spring/summer, I will be volunteer-staffing at an International Missions Training in Mozambique. (the same school I went to in Oct. '09) As staff, there will be many areas I will be serving in, and many areas that I will be grown and stretched.



God has told me that I can't even attempt to do this alone...having others network behind me is key in this next step. And those standing with me will share in the blessings of this journey. So this is an opportunity for you, to share in the amazing adventure...will you stand with me in prayer?

for MORE of God!! that my hunger for Him will increase, even as I'm pouring out

that I'll remain in God's rest
for abundant favor

for all the needed funds to come in
that everything will go smoothly/for unity in the staff
that God will prepare the hearts of the students...and the people in the villages, who will be experiencing God's love...some for the first time

If you are interested in partnering with me financially towards this next step of my journey, you can contact me by email or phone.



OR



If you are willing to pray for me and would like to receive updates (i don't know how often I'll be able to write them, as it depends how much spare time/internet accessibility I'll have....but will try to at least send out a couple during my time in Africa) please contact me with your email address. =)

Love is Life

A friend and I were talking the other day....about how Jesus hung out with the sinners. Not just the 'nice' ones...but the ones that other people avoided. When we are faced with that opportunity...do we scurry aside because we're too busy with "God things" as the first 2 people in the Good Samaritan story...or because we don't wanna be associated with them...or will we sit with them as Jesus did? A very thought-provoking question. I heard a song today, "You Are on Our Side" by Bethany Dillon. And the things God spoke to me through that song, wrecked me. How many times am I busy with things, or avoiding others...but it's because my priorities are messed up? I mean, how many things that we're busy with now will burn up in the end? I mean, think about it. Well...for me anyways, it's true. The goals I have, things I "need" to get done - like catchin up on processing something like 500 pictures, or writing, or music, or making paintings, etc. There's all these projects I start for myself, which are good in the beginning, but can tend to be too much. Is not our main existence in life to know God, and the second, to love people? Last night, I was studying 1 John 1 & 2 with some friends. Take a look at 2:7-11. Basically, John is saying, "You need to love - just as Jesus loved others, so should you be loving others. If someone claims that they're living in the light, but hates another, that person is still living in darkness. Anyone who loves as Jesus loved is living in the light and doesn't cause others to stumble." I mean, "whoa! That's some pretty powerful stuff. Life is all about Love. And Love is life. (what is love? look up 1 Corinthians 13)
Somewhere in the process of the last couple months, I've let my priorities become messed up. And tonight, God showed me how. He has shown it to me, and won't just abandon me on this steep road to fend for myself and figure it out on my own....no, He's right here with me, leading me onto His path again, holding my hand and whispering encouraging words in my ear. Through Him, I'll be walkin' His path again..not mine. And I pray the same for you...if you find that you've wandered off His path....that you'll hear His voice in your ear - leading you back to His path....which leads to life, and brings light to others around you. Be blessed as you pursue His beautiful face!

$100 and a Roadtrip to California

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt that God was asking you to do something, but it seemed completely ludicrous...there was no possible way that it should happen? Well...that was my situation a month ago. I had $100 and I felt that God was leading me to go to California. Now, does that not seem like pure craziness to you? It sure did to me!! I mean, I could buy a cheap winter coat or an expensive pair of jeans....or go on a roadtrip to California?!? This just didn't add up to me. I, for the longest time tried to convince God that I needed to fly to California..I mean, that'd just be more cost-efficient, no? Maybe He should lead me to go to the airport and then someone would give me a ticket! Or better yet, I'd just be translated there! But, “No” God had said. “Roadtrip.” Now, that word is another thing I had a problem with, and I wasn't particularly fond of it. Every other roadtrip I'd taken, the driving had been the worst part. But, I think God wanted me to actually enjoy the journey this time...as one Harley Davidson slogan goes “It's not about the destination, it's the journey”...well, that was sorta true in this case. California is quite a good destination! So...you may now be asking, “What's in California?” There was a reunion from all the Harvest/Holy Given Schools, being held in conjunction with a conference. Though I was going for that, I think of greater importance were the friends that I was able to visit, and the people I met along the way. (not to mention the ways that I was grown in my journey.)
I knew I had heard God, and He had spoken to me more than once about trusting Him...and not being afraid to step out. So, I stepped into my car and began my adventure south..fueled by faith and hence, what felt like pure foolishness. I questioned, for the first 5 hours of my drive, whether I was completely crazy or whether I really had heard God. (Sometimes, I think that both can appear the same to the natural eye - and mind!) But after those first grueling hours, God spoke really clearly to me, that I was right where He wanted me to be, and this is where He wanted me to go. So, after that moment, it was pure faith that kept me movin'.
The roadtrip ended up being fun...I quite enjoyed the scenery, and had alot of amazing times with God. And He provided, like He promised He would....whether it was my gas lasting longer than it should've, people giving to me as they felt led, or 'random' circumstances that opened doors. There were lots of supernatural experiences which would be considered impossible in human efforts. A ring – which was given to me by a close friend - got lost along the way, and God miraculously gave it back to me. Alot of personal growth happened, once again, on this trip. I'm beginning to see how growth is something that will continue to happen (at least, I pray so) for the remainder of my time here on earth. God brings up issues, wounds, or weaknesses that He wants to remove, heal, or strengthen in us. And when we surrender to Him, and allow Him to do so, we are grown. Sure, the process is often painful and even sometimes downright ugly....but one comforting thought for me is that I'm being refined like gold....how the dross is brought to the surface so it can be removed to create a pure gold. Or like silver....as the blacksmith will heat it up in the fire until he can see His reflection in the precious medal, so our Lord allows the testings of this life to purify us till He sees His reflection in our lives. The process is so painful, no? But ooooh, so worth it! He is worth every growing pain along the way!

The REST is up to Him

It's been almost a year since I've brought you up to date on the happenings in my life. I will try to sum up the last year in a few paragraphs, I've got a lot of stories and things I could share...I mean, a year IS a long time. But I'll try to keep it [relatively]short for your sakes. Well...here it goes....enjoy!
In Spring 2009, I went to Mozambique on a short 2-week missions trip. A mere 2 or 3 weeks after returning home, I felt a strong tugging on my heart to visit Africa again. I wasn't yet done in that beautiful country. I had only traveled to one other country besides Africa....but still, I wanted to travel. Initially, it may have looked like I'd been bitten by the travel bug....but I knew that it was something more. God was pulling me to travel. I had once thought that I would do a couple short-term missions trips and “tout fini” I would not need to travel anymore!! I would have tasted life in other countries, and I could just settle to life as 'normal' here in Canada. Maybe get a degree as a teacher, or nurse...or maybe...an artist? Then, buy a house on an acreage...better yet, a farm. Get myself some animals...horses, chickens, cows, sheep...etc. Build a nice red barn, and begin my dream of living in the country. (or better yet, just marry a farmer...and begin my life as a farmer's wife. A baby on my hip and a hoe in my hand. Dogs, kittens, horses, cows, chickens and children surrounding me as I go about the daily life of a hard-working country woman.) But it seemed that God had other plans for me. Instead of my trip to Africa quenching the desire to travel, it stirred something in me. There's more to life than I had once thought. And now I longed to go back. Why? I didn't exactly know. Eventually, it was clear that God was asking me to go to Iris Ministries' “Harvest School”....a 3-month missionary training school that focuses on God...knowing Him, going lower-still, and stopping for the one. “Why would I wanna go to this school?”, I asked God. “I'm not interested in long-term missions. I don't even think I'm called overseas. I'm done with missions, aren't I?” “I've been there...done that. Now I can settle to my nice, quiet life here.” But all I could hear Him saying was, “You'll see. Just trust Me.” I relented, “Well...okay. I know whatever Your plans are...they're good. I don't see how this is part of the calling you have for me...but I trust You.” And so started the adventure that has been the last year.

I went to the Harvest School in the Fall of that year...and was completely undone. I was in the Mozambican dirt, surrounded by 80 other students who were hungry for God...had a passion to love....and were willing to lay down their life to do His will. Speakers from around the world came and taught us...revealing to us the heart of the Father, and even practical things that will help you for life on the mission field. They said how, really, all God's children are missionaries....we are all ambassadors...representing Him to the world. Whether that's to the customers we serve at Wal-Mart...our fellow business executives....or to that orphan living on the streets of Calcutta. We had many opportunities to serve the locals....just a few were: helping replace roofs in a nearby village, assist in feeding lunch to the 700+ village children, praying for the sick at the hospital, learning the language from the natives....even if that meant sitting on their dirt 'porch' and letting them be your teacher, and even just loving on the children...holding the babies or playing “football” (soccer) with the children. Alongside this, everyone went on outreaches to the bush-bush tribes in Mozambique and other countries around the world(a lot of them unreached) praying for the sick, seeing them healed, and telling them about what Jesus did for them. On these outreaches, we saw God at work....whether it was the blind, deaf, or cripple person completely healed before your eyes, or food multiplying. God is moving...and not just in Africa...around the world! As His children....royalty...and according to the Bible...the supernatural (God moving...people being healed, restored, and set free) should be completely natural. It's what we were created for.
During this time, God took me deeper in Him....and showed me His heart. And He asked me to lay everything down for Him. He also did a lot of inner healing. Freeing me from the fears that had restrained me...held me down. And I felt so light..so free...like a feather! And I started hearing His heartbeat...and wanted to travel more. I wanted to do missions! I wanted to run to the lost and broken around the world. And point them to God. That they would experience His love and grace. And be set free. But, instead of being called to some far away land, God told me first to go back home. I needed to work on relationships with my family. And He wanted me to be His love to the youth and children of Canada. At first, I didn't wanna. I didn't wanna go back home. I wanted to go on an adventure! But...just like in Acts 1:8. He wanted me to start in my Jerusalem. God did a work in me, and He wanted me to go home...where it can be the hardest to live out the changes that He's done. Our family and friends, can, with the best of intentions, create a mold that we've always fit in. And when God rearranges our furniture, so to speak, we can't fit into that mold anymore. And this creates friction in our relationships. For me...I had to make a choice. How would I walk? Would I go back to my old self? Or would I live in the new freedom that God gave me? And how would I do it in Love? It took some time and a lot of struggles to learn what this walk looked like. I messed up many a time....fell flat on my face a few times...and often hurt others in the process. But I trust that through it all, I was able to help some people, encourage others, but most of all, that the Love of God brought hope and healing along the way...even in the biggest of my mistakes. And this, I think, is a part of life. As we walk along the path God's told us to walk in, we sometimes trip and fall face-down in a mud puddle...but it's when God picks us up, brushes off the dirt, kisses our “owies”, and helps us start walking again that we encounter the grace of God. Suddenly it's not just a nice word....but a deep revelation of the depths of God's Love and mercy for us...straight from His heart.

So...what exactly have I been doing since I got back home from Harvest School? The focus of my time has been God. Learning to trust in Him...to rest in Him. To hear His heartbeat. I have been spending hours in God's presence, seeking His face and learning from Him. In this time, God has brought more healing, and I have experienced His presence like never before. I am in a time of preparation....like the athletes are put through a time of preparation before running the race. Well...in this case, God has been preparing me for what's ahead. And soon, I will be running. He promised in Isaiah 40:31 “They who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.” That 'wait' in Hebrew is “qavah”...which means “to bind together (as with strands of a rope) twisted up, wrapped in...to expect, look, patiently, wait (for, on, upon)” That's one packed word! So...it's not just siting in the cold, listless state of unknowing, being all alone...but sitting with Love and allowing myself to be wrapped up in, and bound together in His warm embrace. Letting His presence saturate me. And His perspective starts infusing mine...till it overtakes me....His color, life, and joy fill my life. And really, what is more important than Him? Is there anything in this life more worthy of my time?

In this time, I've been able to grow in my relationships with my family, and have also been spending time with a few youth in my area. God is transforming the way I see others..He's infusing me with His Love. He's asked me to lay everything down. To lose my selfish ambition. (Luke 9:23-24 Romans 6:6) That was crucified with Him on the cross 2,000 years ago....so why would I wanna try to hang on to it? I am seeing differently...even if it's only one speck at a time. My vision is being transformed.

Do I have a plan for the future? A time line of events and plans? No. Am I going to go to school again, perhaps college or university? Or dive headlong into a full-time career? This I don't yet know. But what I do know is that God has told me to Qavah on Him. I trust that He will show me the way. And with child-like faith...I will Qavah Him. =)